Her Heart…Moved

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It echoed in the silence of the too still night awakening Her forcefully from her dream.

Surprised, she took a deep breath hoping to settle it.

 

Not now.

Not now.

 

She wasn’t ready.

As much as it liked to claim, it wasn’t ready either.

 

So she stuffed it back where it belonged.

Turned the lock and swallowed the key.

 

Not now.

Not yet.

 

 

***

Signiture

Her Heart…Deceased

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Today I quit on my heart,
And today I wished it was vice versa.

I was tired of all the lies it tried to feed me.
All the yearnings.
All the waterfall of emotion it brought to me.
All the Light it sought to remind me.

Today I didn’t want it.
Contrary to the popular song,
Today I stopped believing and forced the bleeding succubus to leave me the hell alone.

I catapulted into anger,
Said fuck it and embraced the fear.

And shut the whole system down.

I had too much to lose.
I don’t have much of understanding of necessary hurt.

Of human beings and our mistakes.

Maybe tomorrow would be different.

 

***

~I.L.U*

Quanisha A McGruder

Her Heart

KK Feral hearts

I recently heard Kerli’s new creation, Feral Hearts, and the song…is…amazing.  Kerli has created a wonderfully beautiful and emotional song that the word Love can’t describe how much I feel for it.

It evoked the emotion deep inside and of course, the Queen of Hearts soaked in the emotions and capitalized on what lay deep inside me and introduced me to a new character spirit after Muse had me dancing in my room at midnight.

It inspired this piece below, I hope you enjoy.

*****

The magic of their deaths flowed through her shaky hands into her unwilling body. The power cascaded with her own family magic, she had never felt anything like it. This is what others fought against her and family to acquire. This power she was sure, she was positive, would never fade or be taken away.

She was sure, she was positive that she would not be responsible for the way some of her family lay surrounding her with empty cold eyes. But here she was. Tears fell from her once happy eyes. She raised her head to the night sky and bellowed.

She never felt so powerful and dead at the same time. Her heart squeezed painfully inside her chest. Her stomach clenched and her mouth watered. She felt like she had to puke but she swallowed it back. She couldn’t risk compromising the sacred ground.

She rested her hand on her forehead and squeezed her temples.  She couldn’t believe she had to do this. The crushing guilt of having to be death’s dealer sent more tears. She placed down the bloody sword atop the carefully picked leaves from the forest before her.

She could still hear their screams of punishment and castigation through her ears. They judged so harshly. They turned their backs to her when already she felt like she was drowning.

She shook her head still in disbelief. She did not want this power. So she was giving it back. All of it.

She placed the final rose quartz candle around the leaves and the blade. She placed a couple drops of her blood on the candle and a piece of her dark hair that rested on the leaves. By just a thought, a flame appeared on the tip of her finger.

Without another thought, she lit the final candle.

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